Dave Gets A Life


For nearly thirty years, Dave Poach mooched off his grandmother.

With no ambition other than mastering his favourite video game, Mental Robot Spiders, Dave fails to notice that Grandma has gotten too old to take care of the family farm by herself. Despite everyone's mutterings that Dave is a useless waste of groceries, his doting grandmother is very sure that if he had absolutely no choice, Dave could make something of his life.

Much to his chagrin, Dave awakens one morning to find a sold sign outside Grandma's farmhouse, along with six cats and an envelope of cash. Without any social skills, work experience, or even a clue, Dave drives across Candada in search of a life, or something similar. While watching television in a seedy motel, Dave is inspired by a commercial which advertises Toronto: a city of infinite opportunities. So Dave and the cats leave Moosgjaw and embark on a journey to Toronto.

On a brief pit stop in Saskatchewan's fictitious Egg Country, Dave discovers a hot waitress. Hoping to get her into the sack, Dave defends her from a verbally abusive customer. The distressed damsel is Collette Spicer, a Philosophy student. Determined to impress her, Dave volunteers to give the Nietzche-crazed girl a lift to Toronto to present her dissertation. Even an imbecile like Dave knows, this girl is completely out of his league. However, Collette for some inexplicable reason finds Dave charming.

Dave's pathetic attempts at courtship are thwarted when Collette insists they pick up a hitchhiker in Winnipeg. Baron Garvy is a quirky humanitarian, whose passion to change the world one starving orphan at a time, gets on Dave's nerves. What girl wouldn't fall in love with a guy who shares her passion for Kierkegaard while defending the rights of baby seals? Dave finds himself competing with Baron for Collette's affection by trying to save the world before Baron can. By the time they make it to Toronto, Dave finds himself mentoring troubled teens and building houses for the homeless.

However, Dave's integrity is put to the test when Baron offers Collette an engagement ring.