Bless Me Father, For I Have Sneezed

Exeter has nothing better to do than to lie in bed and feel sorry for himself. Day after day, he calls upon his priest to come over and read him his last rites. Exeter is convinced that he is about to die at any moment and it is entirely the fault of everyone except him. On this particular day, Exeter sneezes. Yes, he sneezes. According to Exeter, this means certain death, and once again, he calls on his priest. The priest tries to be patient with Exeter, but eventually, Exeter's pessimism becomes too much for the priest, who becomes suicidal. It is not just the priest who can no longer take Exeter's bad attitude. Even Exeter's cat hates him and expresses his disgust on a number of occasions.

Exeter thinks nobody cares that he is about to die, or even cares that he is alive at all. He fails to notice his dutiful wife, Flo, who threatens to leave him day after day, with a suitcase packed and in hand at all times. Flo always comes back. Not even she knows the reason for this. Exeter's friend, Gideon, is a perpetual optimist, and seems to be the only person who sees the good in Exeter. For that matter, Gideon sees the good in everyone and everything. He even sees the bright side in having one wooden leg. Gideon's good nature is annoying to Exeter, who would much prefer to stay in bed and be miserable. This system may work out for Exeter, but what about those who care about him? How much of this negativity can they realistically take?

Cast

  • EXETER: A hypochondriac
  • FLO: Exeter's wife
  • GIDEON: Exeter's friend
  • PRIEST:
  • CAT: